When my husband was fighting cancer, my first question to God was why him? To know my husband was to love him as Will had such a loving spirit and demeanor that it made him easy to love. He was also a dedicated disciple of Jesus Christ. He was faithful and committed to serving the Lord Jesus Christ with everything in him. Of course, he was human, and he made mistakes like we all do, but his character was pure, and he had the most beautiful, humble spirit of anyone I have ever known. So, when he was diagnosed with cancer, I do not understand why God did not protect him. Not only did my husband love the Lord, I prayed for my family ever single day and pled the blood of Jesus over their lives. Jesus died not only for our sins but also for our healing and the blood he shed on the cross was powerful enough to heal our bodies, souls, and minds. 1 Peter 2:24 says He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin, live to righteousness and by His wounds you have been healed.
Even though I prayed that God would protect my husband and children, he still got cancer. Will understood this much better than I did as he once told me, it rains on the just as well as the unjust (Matthew 5:45). Even when Will was placed in hospice care, I still believed God would heal him. How could He not heal him? We crossed all the spiritual T’s and dotted all the spiritual I’s. I knew Jesus had the ability to heal my husband, and no matter how bad it looked, my only hope was in the healing power of Jesus Christ. When the Holy Spirit revealed to me that my husband was not going to live, He gave me his peace to handle it all and to make sure my husband had a good death. I was surprised at the magnitude of the calmness I experienced as I watched my husband take his last breath. I felt honored to have loved him and help him transition into eternity. I know now more than ever that God can give peace that surpasses all understanding and will guard your hearts and your mind in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7). The months that followed my husband’s death, I asked God why He didn’t heal him. I know there are many Christians who say you can’t question God. I understand the premise of this thinking as God’s verdict is final and his authority is above all. However, God knows we are human, and we have questions. He knows we will be angry and disappointed when we believe for healing, deliverance or a breakthrough and things don’t work out the way we hope for or believed. God said ask and it will be given to you (Matthew 7:7) It is my belief that asking hard questions is part of this edict from Jesus. He understands our confusion and questions, and He understands us. He gave us a mind, and He truly knows what is in our hearts. God will heal us even through our pain and confusion if stay close to Him. He remembered every prayer I prayed when my husband was sick, and I believe He honored my faithfulness to Him and my faithfulness to my husband. He is walking me through the valley of the shadow of death. What I am learning through my grief walk is that God is truly sovereign which means He possesses supreme or ultimate power. Even though, I wanted my husband to live with everything in me, God had a greater plan. I don’t understand His plan, but He does and that’s enough for me. Regardless of my anger at God and at times, my unbelief, I still needed Him. I still believed He was on my side and He loved me. Even though this is the hardest, most painful season of my life, I cling to Roman 8:28 which says all things work together for good to those who love the Lord, and to those who are the called according to His purpose. He is really working it all out for my good! As Christians regardless of the trouble that comes in our lives, our faith in Him and dependence in His Word will keep us in peace. Be of good cheer people of God, your storm will not last forever and if you believe in God, you will see the goodness of God while you live (Psalm 27:13).
7 Comments
Angela DeBerry
8/16/2020 08:18:05 am
Veronica this is absolutely a beautiful love story. Some don't have such loving memories of their spouse and would dare to lie. And you never claim anything to be perfect but your memories of this man , Will are so heart felt and vivid. And we feel as if we knew this MOG and he was perfect! Thanks for sharing your love story through your pain. Love is so powerful! And we have seen that in this powerful union! Be blessed❤
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Bruce Cunningham Jr.
8/16/2020 10:05:11 am
This is powerful sis. Truthful, genuine, and inspirational. I love you.
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Delores Sleadd
8/16/2020 10:10:36 am
Veronica this is beautiful! I know that Will would be so blessed by it! Thank you for sharing your heart with us and showing us what it looks like to walk in faith through the fire. Your faith amazes me, inspires me, encourages me, and challenges me in my own walk. Love you, my sweet sister! - Delores
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Mary Young
8/16/2020 11:22:52 am
Hey Cousin,
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Reaker Bass
8/16/2020 11:37:50 am
Veronica your witnessing of your trials is a wonderful way to inspire others who may be going through similar situations, hate you had to go through what you endured but proud to know you and see that you are inspiring others!
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Latonia Brooks-Williams
8/17/2020 07:27:32 am
Thank you for sharing your experience with loving Will until death parted you. I think often how difficult my marriage would be without God. I am so thankful for knowing you and learning from your example in how a wife should honor her husband.
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Pamela Ingram
8/21/2020 09:04:18 pm
Veronica this is beautiful! Thank you for sharing your awesome experience with your loving husband, it is so heart felt and inspirational!❤️
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AuthorMy name is Veronica Morrow. Welcome to my blog as I express how God heals loss and grief with His amazing love. Archives
October 2020
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